OutCast!!

The diary of a forsaken girl part 0014

Whooah...that was damn close...
She really regrets it.
She doesn't know what was going through her mind.
So much for being a selfless person, she's actually becoming selfish instead...what was she thinking??
Everything is taking a toll on her...
She's stress, freaking stress, that today she used vulgarities. ougoh!!
Nevermind, will try not to, tomorrow.
Give herself another chance...
Whatever with the she, its I!!
I think i've been too harsh to myself, by not giving myself another chance, when the others are always telling me to be more relax.
Instead i always punish myself...even when my parents dont...

Today...was almost going mad in school...
I was stress, looking for a pen knife, but to no avail... so so so
When back to class, suddenly had breathing difficulties, all the memories we had was flashing back, too much pain, that i cant even cry...
They were trying to help me, but my friend took out a pair of scissors, which actually tempt me much more greatly than ever...
But because it wasnt sharp enough...
But then this Dumbdumb Syed had to K-po, he go cut himself infront of me... I was like what the hell, saw the blood coming out already...i start to panic...got tissue paper, help him wipe the blood off at the water cooler... haiissh, must really smack that guy!!
Then later came back saw my friend crying...aper pulak???
But nevermind, accompanied her to the toilet, asked her why she cry but never reply... help her clean her scissors...

Sian, really sian, from one problem to another, last night got one guy say he want to die, this morning fight with Khalid until after school...feel bad and moody the whole day because he wont talk to me =( ... woiits... all my fault. stupid girl!!!

Then after school, with Rosma, Nabil, Khalid, went to Hougang Point to get some "stuffs", at the mean while, got a pen knife, and bandages... Took the opportunity to apologise to him...

Took my pen knife away again, he cheated me siak!!
I wanted to cut myself again, because my a-maths dropped, and got send away to another class. =( think for what???
Now different class... Found out that only got 3 girls. Nevermind larhh!! Hopefully, its a blessing in disguise...(Smiling)
But i cant help but be sad about it...

But i'll SMILE even in the most ridiculous time!!!