Eclipse

Frankly speaking, how i wish someone would just slit my throat...
stupid sia....got sore throat...flu...fever now... haiish

I'm such a bloody ass hole!!!
Why? Why? Why?

I've never imagined being the one to have said all those harsh hurtful words... What have i become??
I wasn't born and brought up to break other people's heart... Never was...I dont want it.... This is what happens when i dont make rational decisions. I hate myself!!
The more i tried to push you away, the closer i am to you.


22nd July... Beautiful day but sorrow filled the air...
The solar eclipse...
Syed's Birthday...
2nd month for a moment...
So many people cried larh, for God's sake.

Went home...
All alone in the room...
Crying for more than an hour.
I can't held it back.
The tears was flowing uncontrollably.
It took me that long, to compose myself back and clean myself...did my prayers begged for forgiveness, and prayed that he too will be at peace...
While praying also, almost cried...
Now my eyes are like swollen and red.....
My temperature is also rising...
I dont want to take any medicines...

I couldnt stop thinking about it...
And its all my fault!!!
My fault!!! My fault!!!

I'm so HEARTLESS!!!!!

Buried Myself Alive On The Inside.