Beautiful lie, perfect denial

How could i have burnt paradise??

I don't want to be sad anymore.
But i want to stay in love with my sorrow.
It is sorrow that taught me my lessons in life.
It is sorrow that i learn how to defend myself.
How could i have let down my guard?
Let myself, fall again and again.
Crippled. I am.
I can't keep myself as well as to keep you too.
The darker side of me is escaping.
Things are going to get much more worse.
Break my fall!!!

This is my Beautiful Lie, my Perfect Denial...