Losing My Mind

Last night, had troubles trying to sleep...
Even though he messaged me, but i still couldnt sleep... It was almost 3 am... I'm still awake eventhough i swear i was damn tired...

I dont know what the hell is going on here. I kept dreaming about N level results... And God knows how many times i kept waking up from it. I am so freaking worried!!!
They say, every men will experience their greatest fall, but i just dont want mine to be this early.
And i was praying hard that even if i dont get my single digit, i just want to make it through...Now is that possible??
Oh God!!! Please give me your guidance. Please embrace me so that i feel calm and relax. Please show me the right path. Please let me get to Sec 5.

Yesterday, didnt do much of studying. But im glad to say that i completed all Paper 1 and some Paper 2. So probably today, i am going to complete not all but some of the leftovers.
The day was spent, studying in the morning, slept again until 2 in the afternoon and then study for a while, then i got fed up, ate my cookies and then im watching movies on the internet with my brother... Stopped watching at 9 plus...
I think im stress...the worst thing is im eating a lot of chocolates... Dude, didnt i dont really like eating chocolates?? I must have reached maximum level of stress.

So this is what i plan to do after my O level... I am so going to cycle to somewhere quiet and green. I need to keep in touch with the beauty of nature, it makes me calm... It would be better if i could go somewhere with waterfall... I want to go backpacking...but i cant, because why?? Because im only 16... and in my family, nobody gets their total freedom until they reach 21...how cruel is that??

Okay...back to today... after the nightmares... i woke up thinking of making pancakes... like why so random??... but the shit thing is, there is no milk... and who the hell is going to get milk?? Nobody!! Because why?? Because im the only one who is awake right now and i am not going down to the shop to get milk!

Shit.. im bored.
But im lazy.
Thought of cycling this morning... but lazy to unlock the bike chain... lazy to use the lift and get me and the bike downstairs... lazy to peddle...lazy to think where to cycle to. Oyeah, Hougang is a very boring place.