~

Yesterday was a great day! Had a freaking lot of fun @ Sentosa.
I was the only girl who never swam, never bring any extra clothes, clearly a plain laziness on my part.
So all i did, was watched the sea, watch them and look after the stuffs. Did i mention?? 70% of the time, i was munching and drinking... damn full.
Hahhs...
Took a lot of photos, but yeah, none of them is with me.
Superb day!!
We had MacBreakfast and MacDinner, cool or what??!!
I can get FAT seyh... hmmm must exercise more and eat more fruits. :)


However, somewhere along the way, my mind slipped away, and so did my heart.
The day ended with tears.
And somehow, everyone in the house seem to know what had happened. I thought i hid it pretty well. But i guess the flaws was still recognisable.
Perhaps this happened because somehow your name was mentioned several times yesterday.
And everytime it was about you, i get tongue tied.
And last night, i voiced out my heart.
It got so bad that i couldnt pull myself together.
I wanted to cry it all out.
I didnt want to bury it inside anymore.
Because the pain was suffocating me.
Even with all the distractions i put myself through, you were somehow, unavoidable.
Even with all the lies i make myself believe in, you were somehow, unforgettable.
I cant...cant do it anymore.
That puzzle i made for you.
I cherished the moments when i made that for you. Still clear in my mind.
I gave you my heart. If we ever have to part. Dont forget to remember me.
And your version.
Somehow im tied to it.
But then i had to twist it a little, so i wont be bounded by it.
We never have to part, but you wanted it so its not necessary for me to remember you anyway. =)
Haiiish...
Im still not over you.
Yesterday i terribly missed you.
But now, that is forbidden.
My heart should never felt that way.
It made me weak, you made me kneal down, you made me surrender to circumstances.
When i shouldnt have.
When i should have not swallowed my pride.
I wanted to vent that anger.
Vent it on myself.
I had wanted to place a broken glass in my hands and fist it tightly.
I was so close to that last night.
Now, shall i hurt you first or directly to myself?
I remembered everything you said.
And honestly, i went from one flirtatious guy to a guy who was supposedly known to be a "loyal" guy, yeah you!! I thought it was a good idea. But i guessed, both ways, both guys burnt me alive. I dont know what the hell or which part i went wrong to deserve this fuck!!!!Its a fuck fuck fuck word!!!
I am so frail that it took me only 2 guys to tell myself, Hy, you Suck in this things, give it up!!!
Im burnt, im ruined, im gone.
I am so fucked up with myself!!
That if i continue with this post with this kind of anger. Its going to be censored!!
You make me lose control.
I couldnt find the answers to my questions.
I couldnt find the part when you could have lied.
Your eyes couldnt have lied.
It is in the eyes, i remember of someone, it is in the eyes that i understand people, it is in the eyes that allows me to trust someone.
You must have created the most beautiful lie and i must have been the perfect denier.
I understand the need to let you go, but if my heart was resisting it how could i??
Shouldnt have gave you my heart.
Yet again, my perceptions have deceived me.




Try breaking a piece of glass with your bare hands, see if that hurts.